Most people might think that doing things alone may seem lonely and depressing. Dining in a restaurant alone or going to a spa without your girlfriends may look friendless in many people’s eyes. However, for some people it is quite the opposite as doing things alone can be awesome and enjoyable to many people, like me.

Many people have a fear of doing things alone and trust me, that’s normal as I do have that fear, and it took me many years to fully understand that doing things alone is actually alright. Sometimes we all need that space and time for ourselves, away from all those judgemental eyes.

ACCEPTING THAT BEING ALONE IS OKAY

Here’s the thing people! Before you start doing things alone wholeheartedly, you must first accept that being alone is okay. I know it is hard at the beginning, but like almost everyone else, I struggle too. We are human beings, after all. We all feel insecure from time to time.

How do you start accepting that being alone is okay? Read the tips below to find out how.

 

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS 

Here are some questions to consider and to ask yourself once and for all if being alone is really for you as much as I recommend people to do things alone. However, it isn’t for everyone.

Ask yourself the following:

• You need a haircut. Would you stop yourself from going to the salon just because no one is free to go with you?

• You need to get a massage so severely,  but your friends are pre-occupied. Would you resist a restful hour in the massage place where you can barely speak to your friend anyway?

• You want to watch this movie, but sadly no one wants to watch it. Would you wait for the DVD copy to come out or wait till it shows online instead of watching the movie you waited for so long while it’s out in the cinema?

• You want to attend a class, but none of your friends or relatives has the same interest as you. Are you going to stop yourself from attending the course and miss the chance to learn and gain something simply because you don’t want to go to the class alone?

 

Now, here are some answers to those questions:

• You need a haircut.

First of all, you don’t need anyone to accompany you. All you need is yourself to be there in the salon and know what kind of hairstyle or hair colour you want to get. The hair stylist and the magazines will keep you company and entertain you if you worry about being bored while waiting.

• You need a massage.

Trust me the mere reason why spa or massage places exist is for people to have relaxation moment. Some quiet moment is what you should be focusing, so don’t worry about going there alone because you’ll get to have some peaceful and quiet moment in the spa.

• You want to watch a movie.

The answer is simple; just go for it even if you watch it yourself. The most important thing is for you to watch the movie that you like and what you’ve been waiting for a long time.

• You want to attend class.

Remember this, you are learning a new skill or hobby for yourself and not for anybody else so don’t think that going to classes alone is embarrassing or awkward because a lot of people do those kinds of things these days.

 

CHALLENGING AND DISCOVERING YOURSELF WHILE DOING THINGS ALONE

There are many things you can develop and discover about yourself while being alone. You will learn to deal with situations and take matters on your own, which will make your wiser. Doing things alone will make you brave, and it allows you to feel good about yourself. We don’t need a company all the time. We can all learn to have fun alone, and yes, there are plenty of things we can do alone that will make us feel satisfied. We can all learn how to be happy doing things alone.

12 THINGS TO DO ALONE

• PAMPER TIME AT A SPA OR SALON

  Not only it can be peaceful, but you can take as much time as you want in a spa or a salon without having to think how long your friend or boyfriend will have to wait for you to finish.

• GO SUNBATHING AT THE BEACH

  Don’t you ever wish that you could just read the book that has been pilled up in your shelf alone and not having someone talking to you while you read? If you don’t enjoy reading, how about spending a me-time on the beach alone while you relax under the sun?

  I have tried going to the beach alone. At first, it was awkward, but I’m quite surprised to see other people sunbathing alone at the beach too, and that made me feel less conscious of being alone there.

• GO FOR YOGA CLASSES

  Let’s admit this, not everyone does yoga, and not everyone has the time for it. Going to yoga classes on your own can reward yourself a significant amount of smile and relaxation. Anyways, you are not there to chat with your friends anyways; you are there to do movements and to mediate, hence being peaceful.

• HAVE A SHOPPING DAY

  Going shopping on your own can buy you a lot of time to do whatever you want to do and to go wherever you want to go. You hold the time, and you can be all fuzzy as much as you want because no one will be there to whine about how you are taking such a long time trying on different clothes.

• BRUNCH OR TEA TIME IN YOUR FAVOURITE RESTAURANT

  The idea of dining alone can be scary, but it can be surprisingly nice as well. Imagine this, you can order whatever you like, and you can take as much time as you need to devour the food — exploring food by yourself sounds pretty exciting.

• LEARN TO COOK A NEW DISH

  Make use of your kitchen at home and learn to cook a new dish during your free time or whenever you feel like it. Learning on your own not only help you discover things but it makes you more independent, and you get to develop your taste palette as there won’t be anyone to taste the food you’re cooking but yourself so you also get to trust yourself even better, hence you feel more confident.

• TRAVEL SOLO

  It feels good to travel solo because it gives you the chance to do the things you want to do without discouragement. Travelling solo has its advantages and disadvantages, and I believe that it is not for everyone. However, it is good to try and see it for yourself. You might be surprised by the results.

• WATCH YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE AT THE CINEMA

  Watching a movie in a cinema on your own can be nice because you won’t have any disruptions. No one will be talking to you, and no one is going to be there asking you questions about the movie. Plus you get to devour that popcorn just to yourself!

• JOIN A VOLUNTEER PROGRAM

  If you are the type who likes to help people, doesn’t mind helping people whom you have never met and if you have the time to do it, then volunteering should be on your to-do list. Another advantage would be you get to meet new people and explore different cultures.

• GO FOR A HIKE

  Exploring the wild on your own can be challenging and a bit scary, but it makes you wiser and independent. Can you imagine yourself navigating your way on your own?

• LEARN A NEW HOBBY

  Learning and exploring a new hobby from time to time can help you discover yourself better. You’ll never know what you are capable of doing until you’ve tried it yourself.

• GO FOR A JOG

  Going for an early morning jog is not just good for your physical health, but it’s an excellent way to start your day well. Embrace the fresh air early in the morning.

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

Honestly, I was very much afraid to do things alone. I feel embarrassed about going to a restaurant alone or go to a spa by myself. It took me many years to have the courage to do things alone finally. My very first alone experience was when I wanted to watch a horror film back in 2012 called 'The Eye 3D'. No one else wanted to watch it with me. As a horror fan, I pushed myself to watch the film alone. There were only a few people in the cinema, and I sat alone. It was scary and having someone to accompany me would probably have made me feel less frightened, but I am glad that I did it alone.

I enjoy spending time alone. I used to take it for granted. I always thought that being alone is too lonely and not something very cool to share with people when I was growing up. As an adult, I learnt to do things more independently. It feels good to able to face and overcome my fear of doing things alone. I care about what other people might think of me and eventually, I just grew out of it, and I started to care less.

Let me share one funny story. I was dining in a Japanese ramen restaurant somewhere in Manila alone. When I entered the restaurant, the staff asked me, "Table for two, miss?" so I replied, "No, table for one, please." Right when I finished my meal and asked for the bill, one of the staff asked me, "Miss, why are you eating alone?" So I replied jokingly, "Oh my boyfriend ditch me for lunch. Nah I'm just kidding. I'm here to shop around by myself." Her reaction was priceless because I think she might not have seen many people spending time alone in a restaurant; it must be rare for her. Who knows, I might have inspired her at some point.

For almost two years, I've been doing many things on my own. My first step was joining the gym. I had first joined the gym when I was in high school but I went with my best friend and I also never go to the gym without her. It was a waste of plenty of money. Finally, I join the gym again in late 2017 on my own. I go to the group classes with full of strangers. Honestly, it feels good. I get to decide what lessons I want to attend, and when I want to workout in my most convenient schedule. I also get to learn to motivate myself from going to the gym.

My second step was spending the entire afternoon in a shopping mall. Most of the time, I do shopping myself, but I have never stayed in a big mall on my own before. That was probably the first time and not going to be the last time. I enjoyed it a lot. I went to so many shops and took my time to pick the right things for me to bring home. Although carrying those shopping bags myself was a little bit of a hassle, but it was all worth it.

My third step was going to the beach alone. As mentioned earlier, I felt awkward. I was very close to leaving the beach and forgot about the challenge. However, something changed my mind from leaving. It was the people at the beach, more like the solo beach-goers inspired me that it was okay to do sunbathing alone and so I did. It was a very unforgettable experience, and I would love to do that again.

YES! I definitely watch the sunrise alone. This happened in my Cambodia trip in 2017. Although I was not alone in this trip, but I roam around the famous Angkor Wat on my own and watched the sunrise myself too. It was beautiful and peaceful. I took my sweet time to find the perfect spot for me to sit and to watch the sunrise.

Now before I end this blog, I want to say a few more words. I know it takes a lot of courage and braveness to do things alone, especially for those who are not used to being alone. Instead of living in fear, why not just fight it and start doing the things that you like without having to wait for anyone else to do it with you. I did that for many years, and I wish that I could've changed that earlier, but I believe that nothing is too late. It's better now or never.

I genuinely hope that this blog inspires you, beautiful people. If you have any questions or if you are looking for recommendations, then feel free to leave me a comment. I will be more than happy to help.

Yours Truly,

Michelle Chan